I am a huge fan of a piece of advice pulled from semi-popular 80s one-hit-wonder Baz Luhrmann. I quote it often and my inlaws and wife – descendants from a long line of born preparers and worriers – have always thought I was crazy.
Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is about as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind. The kind that blindsides you at 4:00pm on some idle Tuesday.
This has been a huge part of keeping my spirits up so far. I have researched only things that I know are in my future. I can’t keep my mind from wandering all over the place with all the uncertainty, but I have had so many great conversations with so many great people that I’ve generally been upbeat and as a result, my process for coming back from the surgery has not been normal, and I mean that in the best way.
- I was scared from tumor news through tumor surgery but able to enjoy my time surrounded by family while the steroids helped keep my body strong
- I was admittedly absolutely miserable from surgery day through that first Saturday (only four days though it felt much longer)
- But since Sunday, September 26th, I have been in generally positive spirits. I feel like I have a screw loose, and it is definitely according to a new, adjusted set of expectations, but there it is
Every doctor, the therapists, everyone I have spoken to that has been through a trauma like this before – every single one has warned me this will be a winding journey filled with ups and downs. I 100% accept this will be the case. But I am not going to worry about it. I’ll control what I can control, try to make today better than yesterday, and when those downs come I will handle them the best I can. Worrying won’t help.
Wednesday, October 7th, was the first of those frustrating downs, and it came out of nowhere. In hindsight, it was not even that big of a deal, but the marketers that read this will appreciate the importance of how information is presented.
Thursday, October 7th – My Experience
- Despite getting up early to try and get some feeling in my bad leg to support good therapy sessions, I had a poor physical therapy session, and the nurses shut down my afternoon occupational therapy session because of swelling.
- I went down to get an ultrasound to see if blood clots were forming – and they found some in my bad leg. These are not a huge deal as long as they stay in your leg but are dangerous if they travel, so I was put on bed rest.
- After 6 hours of waiting for the Sinai and Hopkins teams to coordinate, I was told a quick CT scan was required to make sure my brain was OK, and if everything was clean, I would get some blood thinners, the standard treatment for this kind of issue.
- Also, I got the news it was unlikely that I could go home Thursday as expected (a killer).
- By the time the CT scan was done, it was the evening. A couple of hours later, I got the news from my nurse – no new medication.
- I had them send in the doctor because failing a CT scan was really scary, and the night resident came in and basically told me there was too much bleeding in my brain, so they were going to regroup in the am. Just relax and stay in bed. That was what ?10? straight medical tests that went the wrong way. That is what you call a zero sleep night.
Thursday, October 7th – A Reconstruction with the Aid of Hindsight and Doctor Conversations
- Despite getting up early to try and get some feeling in my bad leg to support good therapy sessions, I had a poor physical therapy session, and the nurses shut down my afternoon occupational therapy session because of swelling.
- Not surprisingly, they found blood clots. A good thing to find while in a hospital rather than at home where they could just feel like swelling and I might have ignored the signs.
- A CT showed bleeding on the brain but probably not new bleeding, so the doctors were not overly alarmed. This bleeding does not change anything about my path or plan, it is still all about waiting to get the tumor pathology report back.
- After a short discussion, Dr. Weingart and the Sinai doctors agreed that instead of blood thinners which could be dangerous to my brain and impact future options (I would be on blood thinners for months), I should have a simple procedure to insert a device which keeps the clots from traveling to dangerous places. If all goes according to plan it delays my going home just one day.
The procedure to insert the device went smoothly and exactly as everyone hoped – the first time I can say that about a medical update in ?3 weeks? and the new plan is to head home Friday 10/9 – Just 1 day delayed from what we expected coming into this week.
Coming Home!
The ‘UP’ that followed that 48 hour ‘down’ is TOTALLY worth it. As I hit ‘POST’ on this update, I am sitting on a couch in my home with my peoples! Popcorn & The Greatest Showman is the plan for the first night. And whoa – it is POSSIBLE I’m a little emotional right now – but is it also possible that is an amazing movie and Hugh Jackman is fantastic? Highly recommend.
